Our Breastfeeding Journey

Following World Breastfeeding Week (OK, it was at the beginning of August but let's be real, it takes me a while to cobble a post together with a 3 month old) the concept has been on my mind and it made me want to share the experience Eden and I have had learning to breastfeed together. This might sound a strange and slightly TMI subject, but actually breastfeeding can be a very difficult and emotional journey - at least it was for me and many others I have since spoken to. I can't explain how many internet searches I made in the first few weeks, "is this normal?", how many sites and forums I visited and all the different stories I read - so if sharing this makes one struggling person feel normal, then that's honestly my job done.

Personally, I'd always dismissed breastfeeding as being a given as it is very much assumed to be a very natural and therefore very easy thing. I'd been told by some well-meaning mamas that it was hard, and while I took this on board I still unintentionally dismissed this - sure it might be sore at first, it might take the baby and I a while to get used to it, but I'm stubborn so whatever, I'd carry on and get there in the end.

I mean, I was right about the last bit, we did get there in the end, but we nearly didn't. Unless you've experienced this specifically, it's very difficult to describe exactly how hard a feeling it is when you are having to make serious decisions as to whether you carry on trying to feed. For me it was honestly heart-wrenching: I felt completely torn between what I wanted for Eden and what I felt I could do. It was gutting to say the least, made worse due to the sheer shock of being a brand new parent on a few hours sleep and a whirlwind of hormones. But we did get there, and here's what happened: